Katrina J. Zeno, MTS, is the coordinator of the St. John Paul II Resource Center for Theology of the Body and Culture for the Diocese of Phoenix, AZ, and the author of three books including Discovering the Feminine Genius and The Body Reveals God. She has been speaking nationally and internationally on St. John Paul II’s “theology of the body” for over 21 years in wonderful places such as Australia, Switzerland, England, Paraguay, Rome, Manila, Hong Kong, China, and across Canada. Born and raised in San Diego, CA, Katrina received her BA in theology from Franciscan University in Steubenville, Ohio, and her master in theological studies from the Pontifical John Paul II Institute in Washington, DC. When not speaking, Katrina love dancing salsa and Argentine tango as well as hiking, swimming, playing table tennis, and spending time with her married son, Michael.
Hello,
My son who is 19 years old and a practicing Catholic college student Is struggling with trying to explain to his girlfriend, who is not a Christian and has no faith foundation or formation, why having sex/living together is not what God intended and is not what’s is best for them individually or as a couple. Also her mother believes that it is a good idea for them to live together as they think that they want to get married after college. They are both college freshman at separate colleges So there is time to try to help her understand the Catholic position on purity before marriage. Unfortunately I’m not sure my son is willing/able to Articulate it well. Do you have a couple of suggestions for reading material that might explain it to a non-Christian young female?
Thank you!
Margaret, Thank you for your question. I have a rhetorical question in return, “Why is your son dating someone who does not already have the Catholic viewpoint on sexual purity?” His trying to convince his girlfriend of the Catholic viewpoint is called “project dating”. To change her is not to accept her as she is. If he does not accept her as she is, then he should find someone whom he does and ask her out on a date instead. In order to avoid project dating, I think that a man in your son’s position should stop dating a woman as soon as he finds out that she does not have the Catholic viewpoint on sexual purity. It is a red flag and deal breaker. Dating and evangelizing should more or less be kept separate. In addition, he can clearly tell her that he will not move in with her before marriage and that is the end of the story. If she leaves him because of this, then so be it. Him doing this reflects the truth that God is above man and is a virtuous act. Please see my article here. If you insist on evangelizing to the young woman, you may ask her to read Love and Responsibility by Karol Wojtyla.